Today I was working on a few business tasks and before I finished what I was doing I opened one of my emails from someone in the industry and read it. This was a big mistake. I was going to promote something and this person create a really great bonus to go with the product.
Enter self doubt. Here is the dialog that started going through my brain.
Why would anyone buy this through me when they could buy it through them? Wow, look at all of these bonuses. I could easily make something similar. I can’t do that I don’t have the time. That would take me forever to create what they have. Or maybe I’ll just tell my audience to buy through theirs instead of mine because it is such a great deal.
From there is got worse and after all of this it put me in a funk. I almost feel defeated and the day has barely started. Anyone who works for themselves knows this is NOT a good way to start the day or mood to be in the rest of the day.
My job as an online entrepreneur is to get out of this self-defeating mood and fast!
As you can see comparing yourself to others can be detrimental! I know this mood will go away either later today or tomorrow. But it has already messed with what I am going to do today and put me behind in my schedule. I’ve got a product that I’m working on and I can’t stop work for the day because of self-doubt.
The funny thing is that I was going to mention the product and I wasn’t expecting anything huge from it – just to inform my list, so they would know about it. I’m always surprised by what sets me off sometimes. What brings on these bouts oself-doubtbt.
There are a few things anyone who compares themselves with others needs to remember:
1. Experience Level
I’ve been working online for a few months compared to a few years that the other online marketer that I’m comparing myself too. Huge gap there.
TIP: You may not be at the same experience level of those you’re comparing yourself to and another person’s success may not be the magical transformation you perceive it to be.
2. Hard Work Put Them There
I know that this person works hard and they weren’t given anything. I’m sure at one point they even experience the same things like staying up late, getting frustrated and comparing themselves to others just like I’m doing now. So I need to kick self doubt to the curb and continue on with my day.
Tip: Self doubt can arise from the comparisons you make between you and fellow marketers. Some may seem to have the Midas touch to whatever project they choose to pursue – but you aren’t privy to what goes on before the huge successes.
Those entrepreneurs who are successful have likely spent an enormous amount of time, money and effort on their ventures. It may look easy, but chances are they had many self doubts about their own potential for success before it happened.
3. Comparisons Is Normal, But Move On Quickly
Comparing yourself is normal and we all do it. But instead of getting bummed that someone has something you want (like skill sets or better ideas) – be happy for them. Switching to this type of mindset can be hard.
The people you are comparing yourself to have their own set of challenges, so be happy for their successes because they might need it more than you do at this point in their life.
Comparing yourself to others can be dangerous to your self confidence and can defeat what you’re trying to accomplish with your own business. Look at how it put me in a funky mood and almost made me stop my normal morning routines!
What you’ve got to remember is that they have their own successes and failures the same as you do. They are just in a different stage of their business. That is okay. Everyone’s successes and failures will look different to you. You haven’t experienced what they have experienced.
Here are a few ways to help you overcome the self doubt and stop comparing yourself to others:
1. View It As a Challenge
Change your thinking from, “Oh I could never do that” to “I can do that!” It would be so easy to create an amazing bonus for my group or whatever set you off to comparing yourself. Then take action and get it done! Because that is exactly how the person you’re comparing yourself accomplished their goals.
2. Use It For Insight Instead
Many people use others as a tool to strategize their future business moves. So try doing that instead. Figure out what’s working for them and incorporate those ideas into your business model.
3. Create Something From It
Before I would have wallowed in my self doubt and had a hard time kicking it to the curb. This time I decided to try something different. I wanted to open myself up and let people know that this is normal. We all go through days of self doubt, but it is what we do with it and how we react to it that will determine if the self doubt wins or if we do.
Self doubt can knock you out if you allow it too. You need to make sure not to compare yourself to others in a negative way. Instead focus on YOUR goals and YOUR business. Celebrate their win because if you keep at it you’ll have success in your time!
The more you work on controlling your self doubt and getting past it the easier it gets. I feel much better by doing something about it (writing this post and sharing it), then I would have by doing nothing at all. I feel happy and know that I can get back to my daily routine and all will be good.
Has comparing yourself ever stopped you from your goals? If so, how did you get past it? Please share your comments and stories below! I love to connect with my readers.